It’s taken me almost two months to be able to write this post. On the morning on November 22, 2023 I lost Gracie. It was a night like any other night. In fact, Gracie woke me up just like she always did to get pet and to give me a kiss the only way she could. A few hours later, I woke up and could hear her struggling to breath. Before I even turned the lights on I know what that meant. As much as I didn’t want to, I held me little girl for a bit before taking her to our regional animal hospital knowing it would be our last trip together. The doctor and nurses at Mt. Laurel were so kind to me. When it was time, I held Gracie until she was sleeping, and then gave her one last kiss before a final goodbye.
Everyday without her has been really hard. Gracie brought so much to me in the short time we have had together. For the first few weeks, I cried myself to sleep every night. And while I cry less and less, I still have a huge hole in my heart that Gracie filled for me. I also realized that I never truly healed from losing Rogue, Shadow and Gambit. My wonderful trio that Gracie is named after. You see, those three were my saving Grace. And Gracie was my wonderful little girl.
As much as losing her hearts, it give me great pride that I was able to show her what love was. It took eight months until Gracie found it was safe to get into my bed. It became her safe space and whole world. My heart swells with pride that she could learn to love and trust and I am so glad I was able to do that for her.
For now, I am just trying to heal. I’ve decided that I will at some point adopt another cat and yes, that cat will be a senior (or maybe 2!). The time I had with Gracie, as much as it hurts now, was a very special part of my life. For right now, I need to heal so that when I do adopt again, I can let that cat (or who knows, maybe a dog!) can be that cat. Right now I would want her to be Gracie, but she was such a unique and special sole. I miss her so.